Cowboy Desires: The Complete Collection Read online

  He sucked my clit gently into his mouth and I thrust my hips forward in response. He hadn’t forgotten what I liked, and I knew it wouldn’t be long before I found my release. He slid a second finger inside me and started to fuck me hard with it. I was no longer able to be quiet, so I just let myself moan and cry out his name. I had missed this. I had missed everything about him, and I didn’t want anything to break the spell that had taken hold of us in the moment. After a few more minutes of his tongue and fingers working their magic, I couldn’t hold back anymore.

  “Oh god, yes, Mason! I’m coming! Fuck it’s been so long! Baby, don’t stop!”

  I gripped his hair and held him in place as my juice flowed into his mouth and down his chin. He didn’t move away until my body stopped shaking. Then he gently removed my leg from his shoulder and stood up, never losing some sort of contact. Then he took my by the hand led me to my bed.

  I lay down toward the head of the bed on my pillows and just watched him. His eyes burned with hunger for me, and his chin was still wet with my juices. I held my breath as I watched him remove his shirt. He was on the thin side, but that’s the way I liked it. It kind of balanced us out since I had extra curves. Then he undid his belt and unbuttoned his jeans, revealing just the top of his plaid boxers. He pushed his jeans to the floor and stepped out of them, and that’s when I could see that he was fully aroused.

  I had loved Mason for many reasons, but I was extra lucky when it came to him in one department. His tool was 9 inches long and plenty thick, and he knew exactly what to do with it. I tried to push aside the fact that he had been with a lot of women before me that most likely taught him what they knew. It all ended up being to my benefit.

  He stood there in just his boxers for a few seconds and he looked like he was just admiring me lying on the bed with my legs spread. When he slipped them off and stood there completely naked, I immediately wanted him inside of me. He didn’t waste another minute of our time. He crawled up the bed until he was positioned between my legs. Leaning forward, he began to kiss me again, slow and sweet. I was coming out of my skin in anticipation of feeling him push inside of me for the first time in over a year. The head of his cock was teasing between my legs as he rubbed it back and forth through my soaking wet folds.

  “Baby, I can’t wait another second to be inside of you. It has been way too long.”

  I reached around and grabbed his ass to let him know I was ready for him. He placed the tip of his cock at the opening of my pussy and started to slowly push inside. Right away I was overcome by the pleasure that he could bring. The fact that my love for him was still so overwhelming helped make it that much better. There were so many issues that we had to work out, but this was once place where we had never had a problem.

  When he was all the way inside of me, he just stayed there for a minute. We kissed and he brushed the hair off my forehead as he looked into my eyes. Then he pulled back out and pushed back in slowly, rocking his hips in rhythm with mine. Even if I wanted to speak, I had no words for the overwhelming emotions I was feeling. The man I had loved and lost was back in my arms and in my bed.

  Our movements were perfectly synced, as if our bodies remembered everything that we had forced ourselves to forget. As Mason made love to me, I let go of the pain I had been feeling and just stayed in the moment. It was almost like going back to another moment in time with him. When things were simpler and I didn’t have to carry around the burden of lost time.

  He picked up one of my legs and placed it over his shoulder, allowing him to go deeper inside me. The way his huge monster hit me in just the right place each time made it seem like we were crafted to fit together. I ran my nails lightly up and down his back and never took my eyes from his. I reached up and cupped his face in an attempt to show him how much this meant to me.

  We were moving quickly toward a common goal, and I was not going to fight it. I wanted this release with him. Maybe it would help to wash away some of the pent up anger I still carried inside. Maybe it would help to heal a few pieces of my broken heart. As his pace increased, I knew we were getting close to the end.

  I pressed my hips up eagerly to meet his. His pelvis made contact with my most intimate parts and that was it for me. I whimpered against him as my orgasm came on forcefully.

  The feeling must have been too much for him, too, because he cried out and released stream after stream of himself inside of me. He said my name over and over, and only closed his eyes briefly when the pleasure held him captive.

  When he was done, he didn’t pull out immediately. Instead, he just lay on top of me catching his breath. I was too reluctant to have this moment end, so I didn’t try to push him away. We remained silent for what seemed like hours. When he finally rolled off of me, I immediately felt the blow of his absence again.

  “Jamie, I don’t know what to say. I didn’t even want to talk because I was afraid of what would be said. But that was perfect. It was just as amazing as always. I don’t want to live without you anymore. Please say you’ll be with me. I want to start our family again.”

  “That was all I ever wanted, but it’s not that simple, Mason. You’ve been gone for so long. My life has changed. I’ve changed.”

  He looked stricken by my last statement.

  “What do you mean your life has changed? Are you seeing someone, Jamie?”

  His words carried an undertone of accusation, like a scorned lover, but he had no right to act that way.

  “So what if I am? I assumed when you didn’t come back for months and months that it must be over. We couldn’t still be in a relationship if I didn’t have your number or know where you lived, right? And I don’t believe for a second that you didn’t share another woman’s bed that whole time.”

  This time I saw guilt flash on his face as he reacted to my last comment. Deep down I already knew that he most likely had sex with someone else, but seeing the confirmation of my fears on his face reopened the wound.

  “It was just sex with them. I thought maybe I could forget the pain for a while, but all it did was remind me that no one would ever be you. Anyway, it sounds like you had some fun of your own!”

  He was starting to raise his voice and I didn’t like. I got up and put my bathrobe on. It didn’t feel right to be naked with him anymore.

  “To tell you the truth, I just started seeing someone. His name is Austin, and he’s a gentleman. He treats me like a queen, and I don’t have to beg him to like me like I had to with you. He found me crying over you and dried my tears. He wants to help me pick up the pieces of my shattered life. The life that you left in ruins, Mason!”

  I should have known the sex wouldn’t have solved anything. It was a natural reaction to being close to someone I missed and loved. But now he was going right back to being the old Mason. He was putting his walls right back up and accusing me when he had been the one who walked out on the relationship we had built.

  “Who the fuck does this Austin guy think he is? He doesn’t know shit about what we went through. He has no idea how much I loved you. How much I still love you. Are you in a relationship with him?”

  “I have only gone out with him once, but I like him already. He at least stayed long enough to dry my tears instead of running from them. And no, he doesn’t know what we went through. The only people who know about that are me, you, and the doctor. I didn’t tell anyone, Mason! I have been dealing with this huge loss alone. How can I ever forgive you for that?”

  He got out of bed and started getting dressed. I was so angry that I couldn’t admire his naked body. I was so mad at him that I was shaking, and the room suddenly felt very cold. When he was dressed, he didn’t walk out like I expected. Instead, he came and stood right in front of me.

  “Jamie, I don’t care what anyone else says. You and I belong together. I made a huge mistake, but I will make it up to you. I will show you that I am better for you than Austin. You just need to give me a chance.”

  He was begging, and it tu
gged at my heart, but I wasn’t ready to forgive and forget.

  “I know that you’re sorry, but it takes more than that to prove that you’re ready for the future. What if we had a child and you decided it was too much for you then? I can’t take that chance without knowing for sure. I need time.”

  “I will give you time, but I’m not going anywhere. I will be wooing you and showing you that you are everything I could ever want and need. You are never going to doubt me again.”

  My heart wanted to believe what he was saying, but my head knew better.

  “I think you should go now. I need time to process all of this. I need to think about whether I can let you back in.”

  “Okay, I’ll go. But I hope you will consider it seriously. Baby, I love you so much. You will have my heart until the day I die.”

  “I will always love you, too. I just don’t know if it’s enough to save us. I will talk to you soon.”

  “I’ll be waiting. I love you, Jamie.”

  He leaned over and kissed me softly and turned to walk away. As he was leaving, I said the words that I knew would leave him reeling. Words that I hadn’t spoken to anyone.

  “By the way, it was a girl.”

  He turned around with wide eyes full of tears, nodded, and walked out of the room.

  Talking about her made it real again. She was too small to survive. It was too soon. But Mason hadn’t stuck around to find that out. I had even named her without him. I had a little box with memories of her hidden in the top corner of my closet. I was a mother, and no one knew but Mason and my doctor.

  Since it hurt too much to think about her, I pushed the memories aside and focused on the issues at hand. Mason was back and expected me to fall into his arms.

  Then there was Austin, with his promises of always being a gentleman and taking care of me. But he also had baby mama drama with Andrea. And if she was still on his wall and in his phone, then he still had feelings for her. I was in the middle of a huge mess.

  All I wanted to do was be alone, watch sappy movies, and eat whatever I wanted. I headed back downstairs and threw away the crackers and cheese since they had been sitting out for a while. I heated up some leftover pizza, grabbed my wine, and settled on the couch with Netflix and my phone.

  I saw the light blinking on the phone, so I entered my code and saw that I had three text messages. They were all from Austin. The guilt started to creep in as I opened the first one.

  Hey pretty lady. I hope your day is going well. Thinking of you.

  That one was sweet.

  Did I tire you out? Maybe you’re asleep. I hope your dreaming of me. I can’t get you out of my head darlin.

  That one was even better. He couldn’t get me out of his head.

  Hi Jamie. Either you’re sleeping, you’re busy, or you’re ignoring me. I hope it’s not the last one. I had so much fun with you last night. I want to see you tomorrow. Let me know beautiful.

  He was thinking of me all day while I was having crazy good sex with the ex who had broken my heart. I wasn’t in a relationship with Austin, but I still felt guilty for jumping into bed with Mason just a few hours after I left his bed. Even though seeing Mason had been great, I wasn’t sure that I was ready to give up on Austin. After all, Austin had not let me down, but Mason had. Big time.

  I sent a text back to Austin.

  I was a little busy and you tired me out. Sitting in my bathrobe eating ice cream and drinking wine. I would love to see you tomorrow. Thinking of you, too.

  About a minute later, my phone beeped again.

  Your bathrobe, huh? I’ll feed you ice cream as I take your bathrobe off of you. That picture in my head has me nice and happy. As for tomorrow, I’ll pick you up at 11:00. Can’t wait to see your pretty face.

  Just thinking about him taking off my bathrobe and licking the cold ice cream off my body had me squirming, but I knew I needed to cool it after all the sex I had in the last 24 hours. Why did he have to be so gorgeous and charming? And why did I meet him one day before Mason decided to come back?

  I’ll be ready and waiting. Oh, and the naked ice cream party…I’m in. See you tomorrow, gorgeous. I’ll be naked in bed thinking of you…

  He got right back to that one.

  Not fair, baby! I might have to take care of business on my own! See you in the morning. Sweet dreams.

  I sat and thought about him taking care of his business and was immediately aroused. I must have been turning into a horny 18-year-old-girl in my old age. I never seemed to be able to get enough sex. I brought the image of Austin naked into my head, and it was all too quickly blurred by a picture of Mason. I had no idea what to do.

  I sat there for another two hours feeling sorry for myself and watching ridiculously sad movies. I went through two pints of ice cream and a bottle of wine. I also cried through an entire box of tissues. I finally forced myself off the couch and went upstairs to bed.

  Seeing the bed didn’t help the situation. It was still a mess from my romp with Mason. I could still smell him in the room. I brushed my teeth and washed my face and crawled into bed. I let his smell surround me and let my mind take me back to a time when we were happy.

  I remembered the day I found out I was pregnant. I was terrified to tell him since I had been on birth control. I waited a few days, but when I kept refusing alcohol and threw up during dinner at a restaurant, he wanted to know if I was sick. I confessed it to him and braced myself for the worst, but it never came. He was thrilled. He held me and kissed me and kept rubbing my stomach. I think that was the happiest I had ever seen him. Little did I know that three months later he would walk out on me.

  My phone beeping brought me out of the past and back into my present predicament.

  Jamie, it was so good to see you today. The picture in my mind was nothing compared to how beautiful you are in person. Being away made me love you more, if that’s possible. I want to be with you forever. Please forgive me. I want to come home. I’ll be thinking of you every second until I see you again. I love you with all my heart. Just like I would have loved our little girl.

  If I hadn’t completely lost it earlier, that last sentence sent me back into a fit of sobs. I ended up crying myself to sleep thinking about Mason, our baby, and what could have been.

  I woke up on Sunday morning to the sound of my phone ringing. I recognized the song as the one I used for my younger sister, Laney. The clock n my nightstand said 8:30.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, babe. What’s up? I heard from Erin that you had a hot date with a cowboy, and I needed the scoop ASAP. Spill!”

  “You needed this information this early on a Sunday morning? There isn’t a whole lot to tell. His name is Austin. He saved me when I ran out of gas. He asked me out, and I slept with him twice. He’s been texting me ever since. Oh, and he’s picking me up at 11:00 today for our second date.”

  I stopped and waited for the frenzy to follow.

  “Holy shit! All this happened and I didn’t get one text or call? Bitch! Erin already described what he looks like and that he drives a big truck. How did you manage to get so lucky?”

  “I’m not sure, but I like it.”

  “Actually, you deserve it after what Mason put you through. You deserve the best, Jamie.”

  “Aw thanks. Speaking of Mason, I have some news on that front, too.”

  “What? Did he fall off a cliff and break both his legs?”

  “No, he showed up here late yesterday afternoon.”

  “What? He had the nerve to just show up at your door?”

  “Yes. And he was full of apologies. We fought. We yelled. We cried. We had incredible sex. We fought again. Then he left.”

  “You had sex with him? I can’t believe you even let him in your house!”

  “I needed to hear him out. He’s really sorry. He’s been out of state with family working on a farm. He said he needed to get himself together.”

  “So he left you broken with no way to contact him? He’
s still a jerk in my book. What are you gonna do?”

  “I don’t know yet. I still love him so much, but I like Austin. I need to see which one of them is truly right for me. And I told Mason that.”

  “I bet he was pissed! Wow, I can’t believe all of that went on in two days. Where the hell have I been?”

  “I can’t believe it either. Listen, I gotta get my ass out of bed and get ready for my date with Austin. I promise I will call you later.”

  “You better. I’m always here for you. Plus, I don’t want to miss a second of your love triangle. Love you.”

  “Love you too.”

  I hung up the phone and dragged myself out of bed. I went directly into the bathroom to brush my teeth. Then I turned on the shower nice and hot and got in. I took my time shampooing and conditioning my long hair. Then I scrubbed my whole body clean in an attempt to rid myself of the sex smell. I shaved all of my important parts in preparation for any spontaneous sexual activity that the day might have in store. I rinsed off, dried off, then got out and covered myself in lotion. I plucked my eyebrows then put on some light makeup.

  I stood in front of my closet staring at my clothes for a good 20 minutes before I decided on a pair of navy blue cropped pants and a white, flowing tube top with tiny blue flowers on it. I wore a pair of white lace boy shorts and a beige strapless bra underneath. I put a pair of black flip-flops on my feet before drying my hair and putting it up in a pretty ponytail. It was too hot out to deal with the frizzy mess it might become.

  When I was finally ready, I threw a few things in a small purse and headed downstairs. I turned on my phone on the way down and found another text from Mason.

  Good morning, baby. Wish I was waking up next to you. You always looked so beautiful when you slept. I want to hold you in my arms every night. I don’t want to pressure you, but I hope you will let me see you again soon. I love you so much.